I'm a total failure.

What am I trying to do? Or rather, what have I done?

Here am I, trying to act as if it's just a small matter, trying to be the middle person, trying to give advices, trying to mend things up, trying to...

Yet it all boils down to nothingness, nothingness but sadness and misunderstandings.

What's the point anyway?

For what I try so hard? For what? I just want everything to be peaceful! I wanted to preserve our friendship! I don't wan't any misunderstandings to occur among us, that's why I wrote all those things, yet you never understand. You thought that I'm blaming you, you thought that I don't understand you, but do you understand me? Do you?

A few years back, when I have encountered any problems, the old me would have just shut everything up in my heart and say nothing. But now I am more open towards you, trying to share whatever crosses my mind with you, even if it's just some lame jokes that no one will laugh at or even stupid little problems. All this because I wanted to understand you more, and you to understand me, yet now you're saying that I don't understand you. It hurts, really hurts. It was like a bazillion of blades struck deep down into my heart, all at once. It's even worse than when I felt that he doesn't understands me.

I've already lost the guy that I loved so much, and I don't want to lose my best friend. Him, I can afford to lose, but my friends? No, I seriously can't.

If you still think that I've blamed you, if you still think that I misunderstand you, then all I can say is "Fine, then." After all, I've tried...